A Schpeil Of Random Thoughts Coursing Through My Head: An Extra Thought or Few

Ah me, the sweet sounds of a guitar as skilled fingers run across each string, producing sounds that I at this point I could never wish to emulate. In this entry, you'll get a few extra thoughts that have been running through my head over the past week.

I have been 19 for a week. Although I have not felt a difference, I now realize that I am no longer a kid. I am no longer someone who can rely on others all the time for what I need to do. I need to learn quickly how things go in the world, or get eaten by the mainstream populous that this world has going for it. I washedmy first set of clothes the first week of campus, now I can do it blindfolded and asleep while hog tied (think rodeo for an image of that). I'm thinking that this year will see me very successful. I read in Stephen King that 19 is the ultimate prime number. I guess it's wishful thinking, but the year is whatever I'm going to make it.

Music seems to have taken on a new aspect of my life. As I think about a career in it, I'm becoming increasingly unsure whether a career in music is where I want to be. I mean, it seemed great in theory but in the end, is it really worth it? I still love it to death: I love performing, I can't go a second without listening to or thinking about or writing music. I love all of this to death, but I'm not sure that this is what will hold my interest for the rest of my life. I'll just have to let the rest of this year and next play itself out.

I now have a sudden urge to travel with nothing but a will to keep going and a camera (I'll bring stuff like clothes and such. Don't be silly). I want to plan a road trip in the summer 2011. If not then, then I want to take it in the summer of 2013 or 2014 (OMG, someone banish me, I'm planning past 2012!). I just want to see what this world has to offer. I want to see for myself that something exists past this bubble I call the Midwest for myself. Like that 90's country song says, "There is no Arizona." And I'll go right on believing it until I see it for myself. I mean, there are people down there for sure, but I wanna see it.

I have also been getting really sentimental lately...could it be that it's just me, or is there considerable outside influence? I have no idea, but it's really starting to bug me. I'm not the kind of touchy-feely guy I'm becoming.

I feel that the song that best describes me right now is a song called "Defying Gravity" from a musical called Wicked. I'm done with stopping where people say, I'm going to keep going, keep pushing, until what I want to achieve becomes reality, even if I have to bend a few rules to get to it (i'll stay on the right side of the law don't worry).

Until tomorrow,
Cheers