Wow. A Month.

A lot has happened. Besides getting fired from work, collecting unemployment and getting things done college wise. I will keep you guys posted on what happens! Till next post.

New Happenings

I feel that my life has been getting so happenstance lately. But it looks to be all for the best. I will try to keep as daily as I can with these updates. Maybe I can even post my Dailybooth pictures with the descriptions on here, as sort of a second place for that, as well as any random thoughts that I feel aren't DB appropriate.

Can't wait to keep updating this!

September 27th: My Life As It Stands, and Why I Have Posted All of Twice Since Getting My New Computer

Today is September 27th.

It is the year 2010.

I must admit, the first third of this year exhibited some of the biggest changes in my life yet:

1. I came home from school
--I didn't want to, but after talking with my parents, I thought it was the best thing for me. I wasn't going anywhere with the grades I was getting...
















....this is where my attention span went from HMP IMA BE SERIOUS to ah well, who cares.

I shall live and die by the Mech's Creed, the three doctrines spoken thus:

One will care for their mech as if it were family, for it is.

One will help where possible, for it is their duty.

One will fight to the end, enacting the quote “Be just or be dead.”

Thus the Creed be spoken.

           “My methods are not exactly what you would call civil,” Kolver picked up the hand-held hacksaw he had fashioned out of a circular saw blade and a C-clamp with a battery on it so it would be automated. It looked used: Bloodstains covered the blade, and the corpse on the table bore witness to the last use. He paced around the gurney to the other side, where Gusset was in his own gurney, gagged, screaming what he could through the cloth that held his mouth shut. Kolver continued to speak, “Civility is for those who show mercy, which I show none of. Poor Dade couldn't realize that.” He stroked Dade's severed head, the expression on the corpse's face a petrified horrible realization. Gusset continued to yell and holler as much as he could through his gag.

           “However, you will have a chance to live if you give me the information I need. Just answer me one simple question,” Kolver took of Gusset's gag and Gusset instantly went quiet, “Where is the battlemech by the name Hellspawn?”

           “I'll die before I'll tell you, you sonofabitch.” Gusset then proceeded to spit in Kolver's face. Kolver merely smirked and wiped off his face.

           “I can arrange that.” Kolver started his demonic saw and the garting noise was almost worse than the pain Gusset experienced as Kolver started in on his leg. Gusset screamed, and an observer would have been able to tell that Kolver was having the time of his life, smiling under the used-to-be-blue-but-now-was-red medical face-mask he wore, his eyes mimicking the delight his mouth portrayed.

           After about thirty seconds of cutting, the fell clean off of Gusset's body and thumped down to the floor. “What a shame, you were such a good runner. Almost got away from my groundmech, didn't you?” At the stimuli of being referred to as “groundmech”, his runner Albatross whirred in recognition, then settled in contentment.

           “You have two more chances to answer me. Where is Hellspawn?” Gusset yelled as loud as he could, but nothing that gave away the mech's location. “Very well, then. Shall we start in on your arm? You seem to favor your left one, so I'll be kind and sever the right one for you.”

           Gusset managed to get in a “Gee, thanks,” before Kolver started in on his arm. Kolver was lucky enough to find the shoulder joint, so cutting through the arm took a matter of less than fifteen seconds. Blood flew everywhere from the wound, and Gusset screamed louder.

           After letting Gusset recover for a few moments, he posed his question one final time.

           “Go to hell.” Gusset sneered.

           “Oh, I plan to. But not before you get there. Say hello to Satan for me. I'm his biggest fan.” And with that, Kolver started in on Gusset's head. Gusset managed to get the first line of the Mech's Creed in before his vocal chords were severed, and managed to think through the rest (it was five lines long) before the lights went out forever, and he passed into whatever afterlife waits for everybody.

Yeah, this was a story idea. Tell me what you guys think. I might be able to expand on it.

The Adventure That Was Glee

I'm really going to miss the show Glee. I mean, it was epic awesome. And now I have to wait until the next season for the TV to start showing it again.

I did recently come out to everybody....except my family. I'm going to wait to tell them that I'm gay until later. Now, there is just too much going on, I don't want to be the added burden.


For now, though, I'll just be content with what I've got, and who I've told. For now, always for now.

I figured I'd update. It's been a month and a half since I have, so I figured why the hell not :)

Life is going so much better for me. I have everything that I need, my bonus check comes in on Thursday, life is good. At least for the time being.

My life at home couldn't be more of a living hell. I'm being put under more stringent and stringent rules and I'm getting really tired of it really quickly. That's why I'm hoping that the roommate I have found will be able to help me move in as soon as possible.

I'm Back, and a Few Housekeeping Items

Hey everybody. I really need to try to keep up with this better. It helps me unwind, but in a good way. Not that sit in a chair nonchalant-ly uninteresting pile of rubbish that most people do. It lets my mind just wander, type about what I feel, and work on personal things that I couldn't work on just by thinking about them. I'm going off of my Twitter Updates to fill you in on what happened during my absence.

First was the car ride home ALL the way back on the night of February 12th or 13th....whatever that Friday was. It was hellish. I was yelled at, mentally disemboweled, and an emotional and very nearly physical wreck. Basically, I was told that I was worth nothing, and that everything I have tried for has involved me screwing up at it at some point during my life. My pride and dignity took a titanic hit, and I will admit I cried myself to sleep those first few nights back. I'm to the point now that I'm afraid to admit anything, because I'm trying to right my life again. I derailed big time, and I don't want to get that bad again. But, back on topic. I contemplated suicide three times in one week, I said and did things that I later regretted, and I really felt like I had hit rock bottom, and had absolutely no way out.

Once my head was back on it's shoulders after about a week, I started wondering if my major choice of music education was really what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I mean, it was a good idea in theory, but I just didnt see it as something I would enjoy doing for the rest of my life. So I started thinking about what I was interested in. Was I an actor? Maybe. I had always been interested in it, and wanted to act in a play on campus, but couldn't because of other obligations. I had done some acting work in high school, and was really enthralled by the prospects and doors that being an actor would open. Could I be a photographer? Pictures were a hidden passion of mine, more of a secret, but I had taken a ton of pictures before and loved every second of it. One of them was even published! It definitely was an option. Or maybe a filmmaker? I loved being on the acting side, but what about writing the play or movie, shooting the right angles? It would be awesome. Or lastly, a writer. I had written a lot previously and had several stories featured in small works and publications! I learned that my possibilities were limitless, even if my mind felt that it was contained inside one small little box.

I did a lot of singing to ease the pain, de-stress, and overall just forget the world around me for a few moments and just be me. I threw out my voice several times, and in the end, learned my true voice. I'm a soft-spoken singer. I can belt, but it's not as pretty or entrancing as my regular voice. I'd sing, but I really don't want to. I don't feel in a singing mood at the moment.

I then joined TaeKwonDo. It is probably the best thing that ever happened to me. It gave my life some purpose, some meaning, and I had something to look forward to instead of sitting at home, moping, singing, or just being bored.

Then something called the Vancouver Olympics happened, and the most epic hockey game in the history of ever also happened. I'm happy that Canada won the game. I thought it was well played, and watched the game through to the end. Amazing job by both teams, and as an American, I'm happy to say that Canada deserved the win.

Then, I got a job. At Wal-Mart. I really don't want to go into details, but it is what paid for this computer. So I can't complain. I just wish my co-workers would have a better attitude towards their work. It's starting to rub off.

Then my parents thought I was their slave. I don't want to go into details. At all.

Then, I moved. To another house in the trailer court, but it was epic, we found things that we never knew existed, and were still trying to get 100% settled in. I'd say we are 85% there.

Next, I realized that I didn't have to run from all of my problems.  I could go back and tackle them head on. So I decided I wanted to go back to the school where all of my problems started in the first place. I figured, why not? I haven't told my parents yet, and I know they'll say no, but it's my life and I'll be damned if I'm going to let other people sit in MY director's chair and give the orders. It's my life. No one else's.

Then I got my yellow belt, which is on my dailybooth page http://www.dailybooth.com/JoshFromOverThereSomewhere

Well, that's my update. Good noght folks and until tomorrow!!!